Adoption In An Abusive Relationship

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Adoption In An Abusive Relationship

11 April 2016
 Categories: Relationships & Family, Blog

You had a baby with a man you thought was a dream, but it turned out he was a nightmare. He's physically and verbally abusive to you and you're worried about the life of your baby. Adoption is possible in this scenario, but it isn't easy. However, it may help get your beloved baby out of a difficult situation.

The Relationship Dynamic: And Why It's Toxic To The Baby

Abusive boyfriends or husbands are usually driven by feelings of insecurity, such as fear of being abandoned or being cheated on by you. As a result, they are abusive to take control of the situation in a dangerous physical manner. Unfortunately, this kind of abuse is incredibly toxic to a child.

Incredibly, 3-4 million children in America are witnesses to domestic abuse every year and if that abuse is a pattern of behavior, it can teach them that it is acceptable behavior. This is why adoption can be so vital: it can help save your child from either learning abusive actions or becoming a victim of it.

How Abuse May Force Adoption

You may want to give up your child for adoption, but know that your boyfriend or husband would never consent to it. However, if you content to the adoption, you may be able to use your husband's abusive nature as a way to involuntarily terminate his rights. This is tricky, because if the abuse was made towards the baby, it may implicate you as an accessory.

It's possible that you may be able to argue for sole custody of your child based on the abuse of your husband or boyfriend, but then you have to leave them. While that's a plus-plus situation for you both, it can be a difficult and knotty problem to solve. Contact a business, such as A Child's Dream, for more information. 

Understanding Consent Revocation

If your husband or boyfriend leaves you after you've agreed to put your baby up for adoption, you may want to try to revoke your consent. This can be very difficult. Many states offer you only a few days of revocation after signing the consent documents. Other states don't allow revocation at all.

However, you may be able to set up visitation rights for your children, as long as your state allows it and the adopted parents okay it. Generally, visitation is decided on how it would impact the development of the child and how it would affect the rights of the legal adopters. And if you used anonymous adoption (to help protect your child from the father), it's even more complex, as many states won't allow visitation at that point.

Clearly, this is a complex and difficult process and one that will be difficult for you to solve. However, as a mother, you have the best interest of your child at heart and will do what is right to ensure both their safety and your own.